Self-Betrayal

For many, self-betrayal is a learned toxic trait. It’s not hard for us to link self-betrayal to comfort or pleasure in our minds. If you’ve learned to silence yourself to keep the peace, you’ve learned self-betrayal. If you’ve learned to say no to yourself for someone else’s yes to you, you’ve learned self-betrayal. If you settle for disconnection with someone just to have access to them, you’ve learned self-betrayal. It’s no different than a woman linking the thought of giving her body to man in exchange for his time or money. So many times we deceive ourselves into thinking we are empowered by making disempowering decisions. We are so willing to betray ourselves for temporary instant gratification because our appetites have mastered our minds. Yet, we cannot continue to lose this war. It’s not about desire, it’s about what you deserve. Desires will keep us focused on the present with self-destructive behaviors on repeat. Living for what we deserve will have us focused on the present and the future. Sometimes it’s not the desire that’s the problem, it’s what you are willing to sacrifice to get it. Be willing to sacrifice for what you deserve, not just for pleasure. Focusing on what you desire will keep you focusing on a stimulant, or the reversal of the effects of how you’re feeling. Focusing on what you deserve keeps you focused on you and what you can serve well.

What is worthy of your service? The word deserve comes from the Latin deservire or serve well. When you live your life from being the giver and not the receiver you are in the power seat. You’re operating from a full place and not an empty place. You aren’t looking to slide in. You’re looking for where you fit. Even as it pertains to finding a husband or a wife if you’re looking for someone you can serve you aren’t as likely to be deceived by charm or infatuated with sex. You will be more focused on their being, not moments. If you focus on servanthood your desires will automatically be met. Living your life focused on serving well gives you the ability to enjoy the process of development. It’s in your surrender to the process of development that you heal and unlearn self-destructive patterns and become the best possible version of yourself.